Where did the dipstick on my '73 911 go?
Revised:
last time Tuesday 17 Dec. 2002
Where
did the dipstick on my '73 911 go? Did I mislay it? The holder
tube was gone too. Swallowed by the oil tank? Now, how was I to
check the oil level? I
decided I could use a flashlight and look down the filler tube for the stuff
down there to about where the end of the dipstick would have been—about the
top of the oil level sending unit. As I had taken out the
oil level sender unit (a squirrelly trick--but still not as hard to reach as the
valves on a 914!) several years ago and had bent the float arm downward to give
me an earlier reading, I might pay more attention to that--reminding myself that
the consensus is that dash instrument is superfluous at best.
With
my 914 restoration project finished, having finally passed
emissions (that is another story), and in storage, the garage
being relatively clean, it was time to attend to the small matters of the
911.
After
Thanksgiving I went to the garage to survey and ponder the winter options.
There was that cranky, annoying hard turning window lift to be addressed
once and for all--after all these years of repeated disassembly and parts.
I determined that I was going to beat the hell out of the window frame and fix
it or get a good used one. The sunroof needed adjustment.
There was that missing dipstick. Looking
at the piles of oil soaked cardboard below the engine reminded me of the
leaking oil seals on the cooler and the other usual maintenance suspects;
heater hoses, a CV boot replacement, valve adjustment, 30 year old fuel and
oil hoses. The line between
the fuel accumulator and the filter had recently burst about two miles from
home? Fortunately my son, at home
between the University of New Hampshire and his Camp Manitowish summer Isle
Royale trip leader gigs came quickly with hose we had on hand for his
monster-engined Ghia.
Further,
there was that spilled oil I knew was “down there”--from an incident
of clumsy oil replenishment--whenever I open the rear lid for inquisitive folk
at the gas station. The acquisition of a 3 1/2 ton jack left me little
excuse in the matter of taking the engine and transmission out and cleaning
everything up. On the other hand, what's a quart of oil now and then.
Yet entering the “daily driver section” of a Concours hosted by the
MKE region might be fun. Nonetheless,
this line of reasoning hadn’t moved me to action for at least two years now.
I’ll just do the door window and the sunroof and think about it.
Half
way thru the cigar and the Sprecher, I thought of my other options for the
winter. I should clean up the
basement (Yuk!), those “honey do’s” home maintenance (they get done
anyway), attend to 35 years of files and sermons (Unh uh!), do some calligraphy
and writing (Mmm)--all of which wasn’t attractive. Like the famous line
(in the circles I used to frequent) of St. Augustine of Hippo, Tunisia, in his
ribald youth: “Lord, make me a Christian, but not just yet!”
The
sudden ascent of the garage door startled me as my wife returned home at 5:30
p.m.
“Hi
Babes, Guess what? I am going to
drop the engine.”
“Now
I wonder why that doesn’t surprise me?” replied my bride of
34 years.
Two days later, with Mary at the jack handle, the engine was out.
Now let’s see where that dipstick went.
Yup, at the bottom of the oil tank.
30 minutes of effort with magnets, long grabbers and etc., was
ineffective in producing the dipstick up-wards or down and out. I took off
the two retaining nuts and washers at the top in order to take out the tank (the
bottom fastening was broken), and nothing was budging, short of
intimidating force which I was reluctant to wield because the a/c unit hung in
the way. Also it appeared as though the lower bumper unit would have to come
off, so I just put the nuts back on and forget it, I have a good flashlight.
But one hour later, a spirit I recognized as “Zuffy” (or was it an imp?) sat
down on my shoulder and said to my ego, "Cunningham, you ain't a man unless
you take that oil tank out and do it right—das ist einer Porschee!"
I put the wood end of a hammer to the bolts and the tank slid out rather
nicely with attendant yucky debris the body maintenance brothers in
“Upfixin” warned about with rust on the tank resulting from the years of
accumulation. “Use high pressure
spray there and around the headlights,” they averred in a Parade Tech Session
somewhere in the ‘80’s.
Shaking
the tank around didn’t free the dipstick and holding tube.
Off came the oil level indicator unit and Voila! With needle nosed
vise grips, and noting the broken braised spots for placement, I
clamped the holder tube to its place in the filler neck, put the MIG welder
(don't know what I ever did without it!) settings on low and zap, it was
done. I took the volt-ohm meter to the oil level sending unit to
check it out and found only two readings, full or empty. Maybe the arm
needs bending for better contact. I took it apart (someone else before had
taken it apart too) and found that the fine wire was broken near one end. It
wouldn't accept a soldering iron fix. To the catalogs! In
checking the tank again, after cleaning and painting, I found oil leaking from
under the joint of the oil Filter fitting to the tank espying yet another
source of oil on the floor! For the moment, I have some peace in
knowing my Dipstick is restored to its needful and intended use!!!